dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
