i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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