Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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