Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
