In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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