'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
