I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
