Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
