How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
