one two three fourrrrnication!
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize