69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
