forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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