i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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