so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
