id be glad to
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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