The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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