please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
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