Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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