I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Success! We fucked roommates!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
