toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
