just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
