There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
