i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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