WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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