there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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