Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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