Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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