Sacagawea was the original milf.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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