like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
