If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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