your thong is hanging out like whoa
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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