Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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