I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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