Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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