You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize