watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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