He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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