Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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