Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
