just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize