I like to think it a success when the cops are called
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
