There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
