Got a toothbrush?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
