I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
