im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
