i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
