so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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