You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
