so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
