So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
