is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
