i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Dicks are not precious.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
