Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
