And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
