this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
