the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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