There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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