just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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