He is an equal opportunity slut.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
