Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize